Return Trip with a Stop-over in Hell

Air travel stresses me out. It's not the actual flying that bothers me; I think that part is neat. It's all the other crap that you have to put up with in order to fly.

For example, my trip back from the holidays. My hometown is not very large, and neither is the airport. Now, this used to be a real kick-ass advantage, 'cause if you happened to show up just before the plane's scheduled to take off, they'd just grab you and your luggage and toss you on board. Not any more. Since the airline has so few people working there now, they have to do multiple jobs, and the ticket counter is shut down 30 minutes before the flight, 'cause that person has to go do something else. So when I came in 23 minutes before the flight, I was screwed (and not in a good way). I had to sit there and wait and watch my flight take off before someone would help me rebook. Next flight out is about 3 hours later, and only has a 55-minute connection (there goes my plan of eating at Chili's Too). I check in my bag, and go back with the folks until the next flight.

Next is the fun of getting through security. You show your boarding pass and ID to an agent to get to the screeners, and then show them again to the screeners. I mean, wtf is going to happen in that span of 5 feet? Then you have to put your stuff into lots of separate containers. First I have a coat (1), plus my work laptop (2) [that I had to take with me in order to get the week between X-mas and New Year's off (grumble)] and laptop bag (3), and finally my shoes (4). Once on the other side, I have to collect all the containers and put everything back where they were.

So I finally get to MSP, and it's a mess. The gate we are to use is still occupied, so we have to wait until it leaves. Funny thing is that I can see the other plane from my window, and it took its sweet time in leaving. So now my 55-minute connection is down to 30. I dash through MSP when I see that there is no line at a Godfather's Pizza stand. Since this is my last chance to get Godfather's for a while (there isn't one near me in TX, and the one in my hometown closed in 2005), I risked the 2 minutes to get a personal pepperoni pizza and ate it as I resumed the trek to my flight.

Then on the final part of my flying trip, I was stuck in an aisle seat. Y'see, I prefer a window seat, and will even take a middle seat over an aisle, 'cause some people aren't too careful with their stuff as they walk by. As an additional torment, I am only two rows behind first class, and can smell the meals they are getting for the rest of the flight. They don't even give you free pretzels in coach anymore; good thing I had that pizza.

When we finally reach the ground in TX, we had to wait a while before they could get the door open. I had my laptop bag in an overhead a bit farther back in the plane, so I start letting people in the rows behind me by so I can get to it. But this old lady that sat next to me starts pushing me in the back trying to get out. I repeatedly tell her to stop pushing me, but she keeps on doing it. I go back and grab my bag when I get the chance opens up. As I'm coming up on the old lady in the jet-bridge as I'm heading out, the woman who was traveling with her sees me and shouts at me "Give her a break; she's 93!" I wanted to say back "Senility is no excuse," but held my tongue and stormed on past them. By some miracle my suitcase made the connection, and I was finally able to leave the air-travel system.

So now, I am back where I don't have to travel again for a long, long time. My mom wants me to come up during the summer. I told her, "Only if I can drive."